May 9, 2015 - This proverb was written over 1,000 years ago by a very wise sage. I was in a speed reading accident. In this business you either sink or swim or you don't. Enjoy our funny inspirational quotes collection. Funny Selfie Quotes. https://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/funny-success-quotes.html You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun. ~Author unknown, c. 1990s If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of unsolicited advice. Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Guaranteed laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple zoom game from JokeQuote. Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.-- Aaron Allston . (No Credentials Whatsoever). I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. ~Pabst beer advertisement, in Golfdom: The Business Journal of Golf, 1936 ~“If You Do Succeed,” in The Character Builder, 1902, Page Information: Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. Benjamin Franklin. '- Joey AdamsTo succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.- VoltaireEagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.- John BenfieldI've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me.- Woody AllenPeople who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.- Anatole France, You can go a long way with a smile. If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Funny Sayings. In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. If at first you don't succeed, then get someone else to do it. The Joke Game is the EASIEST way to have a hilarious party. 4.5 out of 5 stars (346) 346 reviews $ 19.95. Share 'em with your old man. Life is more than just one deed; Try again. ~Author unknown, c. 1960s *Success is achieved and maintained by those who try-and keep trying. Shop If At First You Don't Succeed Quit funny quote onesies designed by TeeLife as well as other funny quote merchandise at TeePublic. Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me. William Edward Hickson (7 January 1803 – 22 March 1870), commonly known as Richman Hopson and W. E. Hickson, was a British educational writer.He was the author of "Time and Faith" and was the editor of The Westminster Review (1840–1852). Twitter Facebook Google+ Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email. Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.- Darrin Weinberg, Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in.- Gustave Flaubert, In this business you either sink or swim or you don't. "In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes." Revised 2018 Jan 1, 2018 Nov 24 Best funny inspirational quotes selected by thousands of our users! ~Author unknown, c. 1960s If at first you do succeed, try something harder. The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you. ~Anthony McAuliffe, 1960s, unverified If at first you don't succeed/You can dust it off and try again/Dust yourself off and try again.-- Aaliyah . Feb 7, 2016 - If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again quote. "Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. You will conquer, never fear, Full content's vouchsafed to none; #Book #Age #Firsts. If at first you do succeed — try to hide your astonishment. Or, as his wife would have it, an idiot. Background: Many sources say that the first known written record of this proverb is in American educator Thomas H Palmer's Teacher's Manual (1840): 'Tis a lesson you should heed, Try, try again. If at first you don't succeed, do it like your mother told you. your own Pins on Pinterest Then quit. "It’s true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" I might as well take a nap.”- Carrie Fisher, If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.- Quentin CrispOnce you are dead, you are made for life.- Jimi Hendrix, In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. Attitude, ’Tis a lesson you should heed, If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. Funny Inspirational Quotes by Comedian Steven Wright ... “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright “I intend to live forever – so far, so good.” – Steven Wright “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.” Steven Wright Click to tweet. ~Author unknown, c. 2010s Skydiving Quotes - BrainyQuote. 4) If at first you don't succeed, ask Dad to help you. If at first you don't succeed, then you didn't do it right! Never stop with what you've done, I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later. If at first you don't succeed try again.       Try, try, try again. Newest funny jokes of the day. Northwestern’s alumni list is truly impressive. You can go a long way with a smile. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.- Mitch HedbergSuccess didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.- Fran LebowitzI owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.- Gilbert K. Chesterton, If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.- David Brent, I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.- Douglas Adams
, There is no point at which you can say, 'Well, I'm successful now. ', 'If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you. To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. If at first you do succeed, Or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.- Douglas AdamsShe's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong.- Mae West, You must learn from the mistakes of others. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, compiled by Evan Esar, 1968 ~The New Yorker, 1991 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil. Funny Succeed First. W.C. Fields — ‘If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.       Try again! - Super-successful lemon farmer. Republican Jokes: laugh your way to the voting booth. Then your courage should appear, ~Kin Hubbard, 1952 There is no point at which you can say, 'Well, I'm successful now. Success is a poison that should only be taken late in life and then only in small doses. Related Quotes      If at first you do succeed, try, try not to be insufferable. Joke Game For Hilarious Party Fun. Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. Unless otherwise credited, all content ©2012 JokeQuote.com. The following parody version is usually attributed to the famous comedian W. C. Fields: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. "My advice for a 21-year-old: Don’t drink and vote." Quotes By Emotions. If at first you're not believed, lie, lie again. - Lou Holtz, If you want to get somewhere in life, you need to know three things: where you came from, where you’re going, and where your wife left the car keys.- Raymond Lesser, Buying a slurpee from the captain of my high school football team about five years after graduation was one of my life’s highlights.- Ruminations.com, Northwestern’s alumni list is truly impressive. It's called using your initiative. Then quit. If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0. Henny Youngman. "Life gave me lemons." And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you. If you want to get somewhere in life, you need to know three things: where you came from, where you’re going, and where your wife left the car keys. Copyright Notice:All quotations by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted, unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. Even more than a tie clip. C. Fields (1880–1946), newspaper interview, quoted in Drat!, 1968 If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. ', and 'I just got out of the hospital. If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. Then quit. Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. ~Harry Stine, 1962 Original post date 2000 Jun 27 Thank you. Funny quotes, sayings, photos, songs, videos and more. Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape, Funny Success Quotes for all us working folks with or without "Type A-Ness." Funny Ronald Reagan quotes that favor the flavor of his self-deprecating wit. *Some people dream about success... while others wake up and work hard at it. Once you are dead, you are made for life. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, compiled by Evan Esar, 1968 Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry. Share. He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher. An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. "My father had a profound effect on me. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. (Say that fast - it's funny.)       Try, try, try again... . H. Alderson, quoted in Reader's Digest, 1955 If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0. Last saved 2021 Jan 24 Sun 13:55 PST For if you will persevere, Everyone wins! - David SmithNothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.- A. H. Weiler, A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.- Jay London, Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. ~Quentin Crisp, c. 1968 #Firsts #Lawyer #Refuge Sports / Baseball / Football / Basketball / Dogs / Cats / More... Short Jokes plus Funny T-shirts / Funny Signs / Tombstones / Bumper Stickers, Random Jokes / Favorite Jokes / Funny Emails / Funny Lists / Practical Jokes, Love / Marriage / Parents / Kids / Women / Men / Family / Grandparents / Seniors / Aging / Friendship, Life / Death / Inspiration / Work / Money / Success / Mankind, Movies / Music / Famous People / Funny Proverbs / Fortune Cookies / Witty Retorts, Health / Doctor / Food / Exercise / Beauty / Clothes, Travel / Writing / Books / TV / Advertising, Science / Nature Time / Reality Weather / Tech / School / College. Jul 14, 2016 - A funny if at first you don't succeed quote. Thank you. Quotes By Emotions. What is success? If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to do it for you. If at first you don't succeed, If at first you do succeed, it's probably your father's business. If at first you don't succeed don't count the first time. The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party, On Zoom or In Person: Get the funniest new jokes & quotes every month! If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. Quotes with: at first, destroy, evidence, first, succeed, tried. Easiest way to have a funny zoom party. Funny Success Quotes for all us working folks with or without "Type A-Ness." It is a toy balloon among children armed with pins.Before you reach the top of the ladder, make sure it’s leaning against the right wall. He was a lunatic." I want to do it because I want to do it. The here and now is all we have, and if we play it right it's all we'll need. Funny Selfie Quotes More information What I learned after surviving the Mayan Apocalypse: Just because you don't finish something it's not the end of the world. ... funny quote metal sign 9.75" x 6" - If at First You Don't Succeed- Do it the Way Your Wife Told You To DCPalletDesigns. “If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try, Try Again” & 99 Other Inspiring Growth Mindset Quotes December 15, 2020 – 8:00 AM – 0 Comments By Maryn Liles Parade 7) If at first you don't succeed, give up ~~Homer Simpson quote~~ 8) If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. - Super-successful lemon farmer- prontopup ‏@prontopup, The biggest sin is sitting on your ass.- Florynce Kennedy, To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.- Mark Twain, The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. I read my first book on Woodrow Wilson at age 15, and I was hooked.-- A. Scott Berg . There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. If at first you didn't try PABST — try again! Funny voting quotes and funny election quotes: elect to keep smiling! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. - Kin Hubbard, He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.- Douglas Adams, The here and now is all we have, and if we play it right it's all we'll need.- Ann RichardsSuccess is a poison that should only be taken late in life and then only in small doses.- Anthony Trollope, Go back from "Funny Success Quotes" to "Cool Quotes", Head LaughologistGreg Tamblyn, N.C.W. ~Author unknown, c. 1950 - Will RogersNo one has ever drowned in sweat. www.quotegarden.com/quotestudy-if-at-first-you-dont-succeed.html. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.- Warren Buffett, He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher. What is success? Stay victorious! ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, compiled by Evan Esar, 1968 "A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time." (Say that fast - it's funny.)       Try, try, try again, The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. Some of these quotes might sounds edgy but let’s just say these are the softer ones. There are some crazy developer personalities who spit out some even more extreme lines. 6) If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie! I'm sick of following my dreams. Perseverance    It is a toy balloon among children armed with pins. If at first you don't succeed, try reading the instructions! If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. ~Franklin P. Jones, c. 1977 Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in. ~Author unknown, c. 1990s Refried beans — If at first you don't succeed, fry, fry again. If at first you don't succeed, try a little ardor. If at first you don't succeed, Try, try again. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.- Sam LevensonEarly to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for any one who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.- George AdeAnybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.- George AdeSuccess is made up of courage, brains, and luck. A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock. unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. ~“Perseverance, or, Try Again,” in A Selection of Hymns and Poetry for the Use of Infant Schools and Nurseries, 1838 To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. No use being a damn fool about it.’ He who hesitates is probably right. In this case if its your first skydive. Please know that I am aware of the hazards. Funny Voting Quotes and Funny Election Quotes, MilkSnort! ~Author unknown, c. 1950. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1904, George Horace Lorimer, editor Free your brain from the strain, and climb up the laughter ladder. ~Author unknown, c. 1970 *If at first you don't succeed-try, try again NEVER GIVE UP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF! Jesus Jokes are popular with everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors. People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'. Discover (and save!) ~Internet meme  [They're actually only fried once, if at all — but it's still funny. Fathers Day jokes: Daddy, Pops, whatever you call him, he deserves a good laugh. Quotes By Genres. I hope you enjoyed reading these funny quotes about life. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.- Richard Jeni, "Life gave me lemons." Women must try to do things as men have tried. You must learn from the mistakes of others. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, compiled by Evan Esar, 1968 She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.- Al Capone, An actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.- Fred AllenThe penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.- Nancy Astor, Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. Refried beans — If at first you don't succeed, fry, fry again. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Funny Quotes. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 5) if at first you don't succeed, chai, chai again. It's way more fun. If at first you don't succeed. Free your brain from the strain, and climb up the. No use being a damn fool about it. Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for any one who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people. Dad Jokes and Funny Father Quotes, because fathers are fodder for funny. If at first you don't succeed, blame it on your wife. Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.” W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946) Similar Quotes. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. Experience    —tg] Discover and share If At First You Dont Succeed Quotes. More remains than what you've won, Success    MilkSnort! If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, You are brave enough to ask that girl out. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. Funny Jokes. If at first you do succeed, try something harder. If at First You Don't Succeed Try Doing What Your English Teacher Told You To Do: Funny English Teacher Gift; Journal with Lined and Blank Pages, ... or Women, English Teacher Appreciation Gift [Teacher Appreciation Quotes and Gifts] on Amazon.com. Succeed First If At First. If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving definitely isn't for you. *Focus on the process. Failure    Find all the best picture quotes, sayings and quotations on PictureQuotes.com. Buying a slurpee from the captain of my high school football team about five years after graduation was one of my life’s highlights. ~Author unknown, c. 1980s Before you reach the top of the ladder, make sure it’s leaning against the right wall. If at first you don't succeed you're running about average. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. - William Lyon PhelpsI'm sick of following my dreams. *Everyday is a good day to SUCCEED! ~Internet meme [They're actually only fried once, if at all — but it's still funny. “If you don’t know where you’re going, ... “If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. Jun 20, 2014 - This Pin was discovered by Carol Martens.