34. As he’s setting his stance ready to hit off, again he hears the voice. The old man says “What? “Why don’t you pull over so I can show you how much I appreciate it.”. Bob is not feeling confident at all, so gets out one of his old balls. (Longer jokes and story-style jokes can be found on our Golf Jokes section, and you can also check out a collection of Tiger Woods jokes.) 3. I’ll look over here beside the Oak trees and you look over there.”, After 10 minutes of searching through the scrub, John is getting frustrated, looks over his shoulder to see if Bob is looking then drops a new ball into the rough. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir," says the attendant. 35. Dirty Golf Sayings Jokes. A golfer has one advantage over a fisherman. Stand with your back turned and drop it. 2. “Bob Wait”, it says. After a couple of minutes, she asks the man “how does that feel”. Bob, expressing disappointment at his dear friend “after all the time we’ve been friends and playing golf together, you would cheat for a couple of dollars”. Golf With Lighting Storm Joke. First thing Monday morning, he sets off and soon finds himself catching up with a stunning woman playing in front of him. First thing Monday morning, he sets off and soon finds himself catching up with a stunning woman playing in front of him. He swerves violently off the road, and pulls the car to a screeching halt. -Bob Hope "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife To celebrate their 7th anniversary, a man and his wife spend the weekend at an exclusive golf resort. By that point, I’d had enough so I turned around and said “Can the a$%hole on the megaphone shut up so I can take my second shot”. Today, they called it golf. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. They approach the pro to ask how Paul had beaten him. Quick round. Perfect if you like playing or watching golf. It was a four ball, better ball format with a little bit of cash on the line. “Because it’s Sunday I have to toss a coin to see if I go to Church or Golf for the day.”, “Fair enough” says Alan, “Why are you so late then”. If a bird sh*ts on your golf cart, don’t ever take her golfing again. SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? And why do you think I am lying and cheating anyway” said John. “That round was so poor, I think I’m going to jump into the lake by the 16th and drown myself”, “I doubt that” the caddie replies. “Dirty” Sayings in Golf. Funny Golf Jokes: If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. Look at the size of his putter. 1. 8. “You see, I’m a transvestite.” The man is aghast. Fun & Unique Golf Gifts Novelty Balls, Wacky Clubs, Jokes, Gags, Games & More Jokes & Quotes ... Not Dirty: Rules Of Golf #1: Rules Of Golf #2: Rules Of Golf #3: Rules Of Golf … Over 150 Unique, Funny Golf Jokes. When the first lady tees off, she hits it better than ever and sends it straight toward a group of three men. Here are the top dirty jokes – adults only for these. She very carefully undoes his pants, puts her hands in his underwear and gently massages his privates. Sponsored Links ∇ Amusing Things You Will Never Hear a Woman … Funny Golf Jokes for Women Read More » As the eagle flew over the green, the squirrel dropped the ball where it hit a rock, bounced over a sand trap then landed 4 inches from the hole”. Bob turns up 10 minutes late for tee off. A threesome were getting ready to tee off on the 10th when they notice a single player, running up the fairway, taking a shot almost immediately to then run up to the green for a 3 putt to put it in. Bob and John, lifelong friends and golf buddies are having a round and decide today to put a $10 wager on the round.